How much should a couple invest in themselves after having children? A lot. It is potentially one of the most important investments within a family. For starters, investing in your relationship with your partner makes sense because being a parent does not exclude your life as a partner. One must keep in mind that apart from being a parent within a family, s/he is also a romantic partner within an intimate relationship. Think of the future. If you neglect this relationship to invest all of your energy in the parent role, you will find an obsolete relationship once the children leave the house.
There is a second reason why the show of love within a family is of paramount importance. The show of love between parents teaches the children who are observing about love and relationships. The profound lesson that exposure to love has on children’s attachment is immense and this helps the children develop a caring and loving character for future relationships. Furthermore, the children get their sense of security, what we know as secure base, in the family from their parent’s serenity in their relationship. A strained relationship between parents will transmit anguish, turmoil and tension to the child who will inadvertently ascribe these emotions to their existence.