Moving in can be one of the biggest steps that a couple will make together and since this can bring about changes and new adaptations this can raise questions and different emotions. It is imperative that the couple are on the same page as regards how they want to live their life together in order to make the moving process easier. Moreover, it is good that before the couple takes such a step that they take into consideration the following tips.
- Take your time before making the first step
In fact according to studies it is said that “it takes at least six months of being together to get through the honeymoon period and start to become more aware of differences that were always there but because of hormonal changes and the general glow of the early phase of courtship are often overlooked or minimized.”
- Discuss the values and beliefs
It is important to discuss each other in terms of what each person’s beliefs are and why, and what the feelings are for each. One may feel that moving together is not morally correct or that moving in may make them feel more able to leave other than if they were to get married before moving in.
- Ask specific questions.
Some questions are important to be asked and answer to be evaluated and discussed beforehand. Questions like, How do I feel with this person in general? Is s/he responsive to me? Does s/he accept influence from me? Is s/he there when I reach out and need him/her?, Does s/he hear me when I’m scared, hurt or sad, and can s/he help relieve my distress? Do we trust each other? What will happen when there is conflict and I have to go to our house to confront him/her?
- How do we stand financially?
When moving in one needs to be aware that the couple are clear on how finances are going to be laid out. Things like savings, rent and daily payments, shared accounts, priorities of spending etc need to be taking into consideration.
- Make things clear
One needs to discuss their daily habits, their living space likings, sorting out responsibilities and chores. This may seem a problem if there are issues from one partner or the other. Even if some issues may seem small they can be problematic when lived on daily basis.
- Consider what you’ll do next and discuss any conflicts
Many people don’t plan for the future, which can leave partners confused and with different expectations. This can be plans of getting married or having children which can result in conflicts even the partners are not on the same line of thought. If this is a conflict that the couple are having before moving in, moving in will not solve any of the conflicts thus it is highly important that couples discuss any unresolved conflicts before moving in
Tartakovsky, M. (2016). What You Need to Know Before Living Together. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 29, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-you-need-to-know-before-living-together/
Therisa Gambin is a psychology graduate who worked in the HR sector for the past 4 years. She decided to change her career path and thus is at present an intern at Willingness and will continue to focus on psychology practices.