When thinking of having a baby, one usually thinks of the hard labor and some struggles that parenting might bring (Crawford, 2021). Nevertheless, becoming a mother myself is what shed light into the true significance of motherhood and thus enabled further appreciation towards my own mother.
As children there is a tendency to take one’s mother for granted (Powell, 2018). This is because it is expected to be the perfect mother– ‘to have food on the table’, ‘to have a clean house’, ‘to have food on the table’, ’to be driven to places’ and to put ‘the child’s needs first’. Therefore, a mother’s sacrifices are seen as a mother’s job and hence there is a lack of appreciation when one automatically finds these things done. Learning of instances where these things weren’t given can sound shocking and can shed light into appreciating the ‘small’ things that mothers do.
When does motherhood actually begin?
For some motherhood might begin with the actual birth of the child, however I wonder whether it starts during pregnancy. This is because from the moment one finds out about the pregnancy, there is a certain responsibility that one carries. This in turn leads to life adaptations which might include changes in caffeine intake, alcohol, participation in certain sports or activities and changes in work. Following the initial pregnancy sacrifices and labor itself, comes the challenge of raising a child.
Returning home with a tiny human, one experiences that one’s life is no longer one’s own. Rather one’s doing is suddenly determined by this baby and everything which is usually taken for granted such as eating, using the bathroom and sleep becomes a luxury (Crawford, 2021). It is challenging to consistently think of one’s child and for one to constantly put oneself at the side. At times it leads to frustrations, wanting to give up and desperately wanting some alone time. Nevertheless, these feelings disappear at the sight of a happy baby and being selfless is what in turn leads to satisfaction and can reduce post-natal depression (Crawford, 2021).
The journey of motherhood is a learning journey
Firstly, it makes one resilient, battling life and its struggles, ensuring that one’s child is cared for in the best way possible and putting oneself aside in order to prioritise the child. This is all possible because of the love that one has towards one’s children and serves as an example of love, compassion, and strength. Secondly, a mother’s love cannot be compared, it is unconditional as she would do everything within her power to see one’s children happy. Furthermore, although one might have certain judgements and ideologies, a mother is there to support and encourage one’s children to achieve their dreams whilst the mother herself might have sacrificed her own dreams to raise her children (Ingarissa, 2021).
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Yasmine Bonnici graduated in Nursing and also completed her Masters in Counselling. She has worked with victims of domestic violence, clients dealing with suicidal ideations, bereavement, separation and anxieties. She is currently working with Willingness Team as a counsellor seeing clients who would like to explore their own identity and deal with any surfacing issues.
Crawford, J. (2021). Becoming a Mom Makes You Appreciate Your Own – Her View From Home. Her View From Home. Retrieved 4 May 2022, from https://herviewfromhome.com/motherhood-appreciate-your-mom/.
Ingarissa, L. (2021). 5 Reasons To Appreciate Mom on Mother’s Day – Her View From Home. Her View From Home. Retrieved 4 May 2022, from https://herviewfromhome.com/5-reasons-to-appreciate-mom-on-mothers-day/.
Powell, T. (2018). What Motherhood Means to Me: Appreciation. ParentMap. Retrieved 4 May 2022, from https://www.parentmap.com/article/what-motherhood-means-me-appreciation.