Do you feel lost? Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment. Know that you are not alone. Feeling lost and confused is common among fellow humans.
Feeling lost is a natural feeling. We feel lost when we feel we do not have options to choose from. We feel lost when we have too many options, and we do not know which way to choose and what to do. We feel lost when we have to make big decisions which have a bearing on our lives and others. We feel lost when we question the decisions we have taken and the paths we have chosen. We feel lost when we lose what matters to us and grieve when what we had is good and is gone. We feel lost when we cannot make sense of the traumas we have gone through.
We feel lost when our beliefs, values and priorities are turned upside down. We feel lost when we see our hope dwindling. We feel lost when we fear the present and the future, and we feel helpless to define our lives as we want them to be. We feel lost when we do not know what we want. We feel lost when we do not recognise ourselves or others anymore. We feel lost as we change, and everything and everyone around us changes continuously (Baumeister, 1991).
The First Step
Feeling lost makes us feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, alone and without purpose (Yalom, 1980). Yet, we still have a life purpose even when we do not know it (Frankl, 1985). When you feel lost, the first step is to allow yourself time to reflect to rediscover your purpose. The time you need is your own. Reflect on your values and passions, what makes you lose track of time, and what stirs a sense of responsibility within you (Schippers & Ziegler, 2019).
The next step is to set goals at your own pace. Think of goals that are realistic and attainable, fill you with eagerness and excitement and motivate you to accomplish them. Consider your resources, strengths and limitations (Peterson & Seligman, 2004).
Prepare a timeframe for your goals and break them down into small steps. Target one step at a time. Be patient with yourself and others. Appreciate the present moment you are living. Celebrate your improvements. Learn from the obstacles you encounter, as they will help you to adapt and grow. Your life purpose will continue unfolding and evolving as you go through life (Schippers & Ziegler, 2019).
When you feel lost, remember that you are feeling alone, but you are not alone. Others might be feeling lost as well. Take the opportunity to connect with others. Accept that it is not an issue if you have different opinions. Learn from each other, respect each other and grow together.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Allison Sammut is a Psychology graduate from the University of Malta. She is currently working as a Psychology Assistant at Willingness. She has worked with children, adolescents and adults and is interested in furthering her learning and experience in helping people process trauma
References
Baumeister, R. F. (1991). Meanings of life. The Guilford Press.
Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man’s search for meaning. Washington Square Press. (Originally published 1946).
Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. Oxford University Press.
Schippers, M. C., & Ziegler, N. (2019). Life crafting as way to find purpose and meaning in life. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, Article 2778.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02778 Yalom, I.D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. Basic Books.