For someone who does not self harm, it may come across as deviant and incomprehensible behavior. However, those who self harm see it differently and state that it is the ‘only’ way to cope with problems. “It helps me to express feelings that I cannot put into words”, “Itdistracts me from life”, “I feel a release after I do it, it is like the emotional pain is gone – atleast for a little while”. Unfortunately, because of this ‘feeling good’ element, self harm often becomes addictive behavior and it is very difficult to stop doing it. How can hurting yourself make you feel better? Yes it does, for those who are dealing with deep distress and emotional pain, it may feel like they have no other choice. Injuring self is the only way they know how to cope with feelings of sadness, self-loathing, rage and emptiness. “I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling
The problem is that the relief that comes from self-harming is short lived and it is usually quickly replaced by feelings of guilt and shame. If you’re like most people who self-injure, you try to keep what you’re doing secret. Maybe you think that no one would understand and hiding who you are and what you feel is a heavy burden. Ultimately, the secrecy and guilt affects your relationships with others and the way you feel about yourself. It can make you feel even more lonely, and trapped. Many times self harm is a way to feel in control, and for some time, it may deceive you about being in control, about hurting yourself as much as you like, about when and where you can do it, however though it starts as something you do to feel more in control, it soon feels like the cutting or self-harming is controlling you. It often turns into a compulsive behavior that seems impossible to stop. If you want to stop but don’t know how, remember this: you deserve to feel better, and you can get there without hurting yourself. There are more effective strategies which will help you get through. Self-harm and cutting don’t help you with the issues that made you want to hurt yourself in the first place. So go to the root of the problem as the self-harm is just a symptom and not the actual problem.
– ingrid@willingness.com.mt