Picture this: a friend who was a social butterfly, then suddenly entered a romantic relationship and it feels like they both disappeared from the face of this earth. Seems relatable right? So this begs the question should individual’s remain in contact with their peer group once the individual engages in a romantic relationship.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea of focussing all of one’s attention on the relationship, especially when the relationship is in its infancy. However this is where things can go awry, if one abandons the social group, then it would be very easy for the individual to end up ostracised without any friends. Thus this leads me to the essential point of this blog – achieving balance. Balance between work, romantic relationships, friendships, family, and hobbies amongst others is essential for the individual. I understand that it’s easier said than done. However once the individual achieves balance, one would feel more satisfied than if they did not.
Besides spending quality time with your loved one. It is also beneficial for the couple to spend time apart in order to help the individual’s within the couple reflect on themselves and the relationship. Whilst also this would help the individual’s miss each other since they will not be in each others presence.
It would also be beneficial to organize group dates in order for the individual’s within the couple to talk to other couples and have fun together in a way in which the couple is still within close proximity however they do not need to sit near each other and get to know what other people are doing. This both facilitates the individual’s curiosity about the other couples and interacts with others in a manner which both partners deem safe.
The gist of this blog is that YES it is important to spend time some time with friends, and this time apart is not frowned upon, it actually will help the relationship with your partner due to the positive effects of friendships and all that they entail. Obviously one needs to be mindful of how many hours one spends with friends as it could be perceived that the partner is unwanted by the other. Thus, think about it wisely in which dedicate a few hours a week to your peer group whilst also maintaining a good amount of time with your partner in order to create more memories and increase the connection with each other.
Karl Grech is a counsellor. He offers counselling to both individuals and couples within Willingness. He can be contacted on karl@willingness.com.mt.