In a healthy relationship, it is important to share your hopes and dreams with your partner in order to deepen your understanding of each other and your connection. According to the Gottman institute, there are some open ended questions you can ask your partner in order to start the story going. It is important to take turns asking each other questions and to keep an open mind, without being judgmental. Instead they suggest the listener be a ‘dream detective’.

Here are some questions you can ask your partner and have your partner ask you:

  1. What do you want to be like in three years from now?
  2. How do you see your work changing in the future?
  3. How do you feel about our physical home? Any changes you’d like to make?
  4. How do you feel about your family right now? Have these feelings changed lately?
  5. What do you find exciting in life right now?
  6. What are your biggest worries about the future?
  7. How do you think we could have more fun in our life?
  8. Who are your best allies and close friends right now? Have they or you changes?


Source: Gottman card decks


Dana Scicluna Azar is a relationship and sex advisor at willingness. She offers therapy to both individuals and couples. She can be contacted on You can visit her profile on: