Have you ever had those little butterflies in your stomach whenever you think of or are around a person that you like? Do you constantly think about this person and wait for a notification on your phone from them? Well, these are signs that you might have a crush on that person!
A crush is defined as having an interest in someone and wanting to connect with them on a deeper level. Crushes can be either romantic or platonic, however the key difference between the two is that when a crush is a romantic one, there usually is also attraction to that person as well as a sexual curiosity for them.
What are some other signs that I might have a crush on someone?
There are a number of other signs that could indicate you having a crush on someone. You might want to talk about this person all the time, or you might want to be around them a lot, perhaps even finding ways to bump into them somewhere. On the contrary, some people actually try to avoid their crush altogether because they get so flustered around them. You might feel a combination of feelings around your crush, such as nervousness, awkwardness, excitement and happiness.
You might also get very shy around them and find that your confidence drops, with you failing to find the right words to say. It might not always be clear to you that you might be having a crush on someone. Some people try to conceal their feelings or might not even realise that they even have a crush! Another sure sign you might have a crush on someone is if you dream about them, at day or night time. This might be your subconscious mind’s way of trying to reveal your feelings about this person.
What do I do about it?
The first question to ask yourself is whether or not you want to act on your crush. It is perfectly fine if you don’t want to, and it is also okay if you do! If you do want to let your crush know that you are interested in them, you also need to consider whether or not either of you is currently in a relationship with another person. Acting on your feelings in this case is a little trickier, because you might actually hurt another person in the process.
If both of you are single, then the playing field is all yours! You might want to consider how much you actually know this person. If they are an acquaintance, give the person a chance to get to know you to see whether the interest is mutual. This also gives you the chance to get to know them properly, rather than the online persona you think you know through stalking their social media profiles – we’re all guilty of having done this at some point! If you know the person well, this gives you the opportunity to be more direct about your feelings, flirt with them and see how they respond to this.
What if I don’t want to have a crush?
Firstly, know that having a crush on someone is a completely normal and human thing to experience. Don’t judge yourself for having these feelings, even if you are already in a relationship. The most important thing to do is to acknowledge these feelings, as well as be honest about your intentions with your partner. Crushes can help us better understand what type of person we might desire to be in a partnership with.
They can also help us to point out unmet needs so that we can create the relationship that we truly desire. A crush can either blossom into something beautiful, or at times lead to a dead end if the other person is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. No matter what the result, a crush can teach you a lot about yourself and other people. Look at this as an experience that you can learn from and go forth with making a connection with someone who feels the same way about you!
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and wellbeing, gender, sexuality, relationship issues.
Colvin, C. & Sullivan, C. (2021). 7 Signs You Have A Crush, Because the Butterflies are Real. Retrieved from: https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/do-i-have-a-crush
Santos-Longhurst, A. (2021). How to Recognize That You Have a Crush — and What to Do Next. Retrieved from: https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/having-a-crush
Sinha, R. (2022). How To Know If You Have A Crush On Someone? 15 Clear Signs. Retrieved from: https://www.momjunction.com/articles/signs-you-have-a-crush_00721653/
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