For a lot of people, being in a relationship will bring up some form of relationship anxiety. This can happen in the beginning of the relationship when you are still getting to know the other person, but it can also happen after being with your partner for years. So, what is relationship anxiety? It is when you start to question yourself, your partner, or your relationship because of all the doubts and worries that are in your head.
For some people, relationship anxiety can occur because of trust issues, questioning how compatible they are with their partner, fear of commitment, and so many other reasons. Relationship anxiety is normal to a certain point. Having doubts about your feelings towards your partner or questioning whether they are the one for you is completely healthy in a relationship. It only becomes an issue when these thoughts start to get in the way of your everyday functioning and start to affect your, or your partner’s mental health. Having these worries floating around your head all day for a long time can lead to you becoming mentally exhausted and not able to focus on other things like your work or school.
Here are 3 ways to deal with your relationship anxiety and begin to overcome it;
Talking to your partner about what is worrying you might seem like a very scary thing to do, but it is necessary. Keeping things bottled up can be harmful both to you and to your partner. You will continue to feel like you are alone in this issue and your thoughts may continue to get out of control. On the other hand, your partner may already be feeling a difference in your behaviour, and they might start to worry and question what’s going on with you.
Discussing your worries about your relationship with your partner will help to reason out what is worrying you and possibly find a solution or a way forward. It may also help you realise that what you are worrying about is something that is coming from a previous experience you had with someone else, and that it is not in fact directly linked to your current partner. Also, being vulnerable and letting your partner in can improve and strengthen your relationship.
2. Don’t Act Impulsively
When you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, it is easy to make quick decisions such as leaving your partner. Acting from our emotions can lead to decisions that we will regret in the future. Sometimes when we are feeling anxious about our relationship, we try to desperately reassure ourselves by doing something that could harm our relationship. For example, if you are feeling anxious that your partner is lying to you about something, you might invade their privacy by looking through their phone or interrogating them. Therefore, it is important to always take a step back and to never let your anxiety push you to act impulsively.
3. Be Mindful
Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in our own heads and worry about the future of the relationship or problems that could come up in years to come. Bringing your awareness back to the present moment will help you to appreciate the day-to-day things that happen in your relationship, and the feelings that you have when you are with your partner. This doesn’t mean that by doing this the negative thoughts will not pop up in your head. They will, but it is important to acknowledge them and then redirect yourself back to the here and now.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Lisa Laspina is a Trainee Gestalt Psychotherapist who is currently working with Willingness. She is reading for a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy.
- Schechter, N. (2020, July 10). 15 signs you have relationship anxiety. Netdoctor. Retrieved December 30, 2021, from https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/a33267326/relationship-anxiety/