Grief is an intensely personal journey, uniquely tailored to each individual’s experience. It is influenced by a multitude of factors, including personal history, cultural background, personality traits, and temperament. Coping with a significant loss in life can vary from one person to another. However, there are common themes in the stories of those who navigate grief successfully. Below are six strategies to help you navigate your own grieving process with compassion, constructiveness, and wellbeing.
Allow Grief to Unfold Naturally
Most of us recognise that grief is a normal response to loss. However, the timeline of grief remains a mystery. Some may believe it should last precisely one year or significantly diminish after the first few weeks. The truth is, there is no fixed duration for grief. Artificially set deadlines can be counterproductive. It is essential to embrace the inherent uncertainty surrounding the duration of your grief without imposing rigid time constraints.
Avoid Comparisons
In this age of information and Google, it is effortless to compare your grief and grieving process to that of others. This inclination to compare is natural, as humans seek validation that their experiences are not entirely alien. It is common to wish for a swift recovery like a relative or wonder why a colleague bounces back rapidly from a similar loss. Remember, every grief journey is unique.
Embrace the Grieving Process
Paradoxically, resisting or avoiding emotions such as sadness can make them persist. When your mind interprets emotions as threats, it triggers anxiety and heightened emotional sensitivity. Approaching difficult emotions, like sadness, can rewire your brain to become more comfortable with them.
Seek Social Support
Seeking social support is often recommended during grief, but it is frequently misunderstood. It does not necessarily involve discussing your grief or loss. Spending time with friends or loved ones doing enjoyable activities can be a great way to initiate the grieving process or improve an ongoing one.
Acknowledge Diverse Emotions
It is common for people to feel that anything other than sorrow or sadness during grief is wrong. However, this rigid emotional expectation can worsen suffering. Grief arises from significant loss, and it encompasses a wide range of emotions. Those who navigate grief successfully tend to be open and accepting of all emotions and reactions that emerge, without judgement.
Self-Care Matters
Self-care, especially in terms of physical well-being, is often overlooked during grief. When confronted with loss, life can become chaotic, and many let go of their healthy habits. It is crucial to maintain a balanced diet, engage in regular exercise, and ensure you get sufficient sleep to support your overall well-being.
Conclusion
Grief is a process that evolves naturally. Instead of attempting to control or evade it, try approaching it with acceptance and tenderness. Understand that there is no single formula for managing grief, and it is perfectly acceptable to experience the full spectrum of emotions as you navigate this deeply personal journey. By following these recommendations and allowing your grief to take its course, you can move towards healing and growth at your own pace.
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Charlot Cauchi is a Gestalt Psychotherapist at Willingness. He has experience working with adult clients with mental health difficulties, anxiety and depression, loss and grief, traumatic experiences, stress and relational issues.
References
Black, J., Belicki, K., Emberley-Ralph, J., & McCann, A. (2022) Internalized versus externalized continuing bonds: Relations to grief, trauma, attachment, openness to experience, and posttraumatic growth. Death Studies 46:2, pages 399-414.